How small is the world?

I am in the process of giving a face-lift to my mother's training consultancy company. Somehow I understood that to bring in more clients and to have a strong network, one would not be able to get away from the Internet. There used to be a time when we printed posters on paper and distributed it in crowded places. But I now know this wont any more work. May be because I am myself someone who spends a major portion of the day in front of the computer, I decided to create the company's presence in the web world.

With time, I realised that creating your presence in the web world is beyond Facebooking or Orkutting. I learnt how to buy a domain name(www.ecctrainingconsultants.com). I learnt how to host the domain name on a server (with a lot of help from my friends of course), I learnt how to create a simple web page (and now the website is ready with all features), I learnt how to use twitter, orkut and FB for promotion, how to integrate sms and these social networking sites for promotion etc.

Needless to say, I faced many problems in this process.

But what amazes me is that as I write this blog I am working with a stranger in Argentina to fix a certain problem.

That's how small the world has become.

A simple truth. A truth treated very casually. But somehow it seems very powerful to me. I remember the days when we waited at a neighbour's house to receive a call from my dad who was in Muscat at that point. We would all talk in bulleted points and in the highest volume possible. And the most important things we wanted to know during the conversation were

a) if he was fine

b) when he would call next.

And till he got back to India, during every conversation, these two points were the highlights.

And now, I am talking to someone in Argentina, trying to fix a problem in Facebook.

Certainly seems profound to me.

Beyond Words!

Yesterday, I had one of the most powerful conversations ever. It happened at Cinemax where I went to catch a movie with some friends. We decided to have dinner before the movie and my first choice was the KFC outlet inside Cinemax.

This is not the first time that I am visiting this particular KFC. I already know what is unique about this KFC. This KFC outlet employs people with speech and hearing challenges. They are not even at the backend job. They take orders from the customers. There are boards everywhere informing customers of this situation. The employees also wear badges to notify this.

But what made me write this blog after this particular visit is this - Yesterday's conversation was really long and powerful and it was amazing how much we could converse non-verbally with simple gestures and facial expressions. It made me realise how little we focus on effective conversation otherwise and how irresponsible we get most of the times while communicating. More often than not, the complete message from the sender never reaches the receiver and there is invariably a communication gap. How many times haven't we shouted at the waiters and managers at hotels for committing a mistake in our order? Have we ever realised that we could have communicated ineffectively or may be we never ensured that our receiver got our complete message?

Alright, now for the conversation :

Me : Pointing out to the Zing Kong Meal on the menu card.

Mr Kumar : Pointing out his pointer finger and curving his eyebrows.

Me : Nodding my head twice up-down

Mr Kumar : Emphatic thumbs-up with both hands.

Me : Pointing out to the Pepsi from the menu card and nodding head sideways. Then pointing at the Krush juice and nodding head up-down twice.

Mr Kumar : Emphatic thumbs-up with both hands.

Mr Kumar : Pointing out at the "Extra cheese for Rs.10" and giving a wide smile

Me : Nodding head vigorously sideways, eyebrows lifted, eyes wide open.

Mr Kumar : Sigh, Face shrunk.

Me : Smiling, hand on chin, looking at the "Extra cheese for Rs.10" for about 10 seconds.

Mr Kumar : Hands folded, smiling, waiting for my response.

Me : Returning the smile, pointing to the "Extra cheese for Rs.10" and imitating Mr Kumar's emphatic thumbs-up

Mr Kumar : Showing me the rest of the menu card.

Me : Nodding head sideways twice

Finally, Mr Kumar points to the Zing Kong Meal, I nod approvingly, then he points to the "Extra cheese for Rs.10", I nod again, then he crosses the pepsi with his fingers, I nod again and he points to the Krush.I nod again.

He keys in the order,goes away to get my food. Returns with the food, points to the billing machine to show me the amount. I pay. He hands me the food with the ketchup and tissues, smiles and gives me another final emphatic thumbs-up with both hands. I smile and leave...

Language vs Skill

A post from a forum seeking freelance writers :

We are looking for quality article writers who makes no excuses and can get the job done on time.

* Articles must be related to students activities including student life, study & exam techniques, holidays/travelling tips, reading & writing tips, sports etc.

* Articles must be 100% original and MAKE SENSE- they should not require a ton of research, but you cannot simply repeat the same things over and over again and call it an article

* Articles will be 400-500 words in length ( at least)

* Grammar and spelling errors are not acceptable. I do not wish to rewrite your articles, so if you are not an excellent English writer please do not apply.

* I get all rights to the articles and you do NOT have the right to share them with others for any reason

* UK english will be preferred.

I am certainly not shocked by this post. This is not the first of its kind. But thanks to this post, I was reminded of a really powerful concept that we used to talk about in our communication skills sessions. It was(is) called Positive Mirroring.

Consider the following scenario - You are visiting shop A. It is a Sunday. The shop is being cleaned and it's a holiday. The shop keeper tells you, "Sorry Sir, we don't serve customers on Sunday". You obviously have to leave.

Now you walk into shop B. The shop is being cleaned and it's a holiday. The shop keeper tells you "Sir, we are open Monday to Saturday, 9 AM to 9 PM.Please feel free to visit us on any of these days and we'll be happy to serve you". Again, you obviously have to leave.

But, come monday morning, which shop are you likely to visit? A or B?

Positive mirroring is not about sugar-coating. It is just the art of conveying what you will/can do rather than specifying what you won't/can't,the art of saying what is rather than what isn't. And what's the benefit?Simple, the listener is more enthusiastic about what you just said.

Another example -

Manager to subordinate -

[Scenario A] If you don't finish this work on time, you will be fired.

[Scenario B] If you finish this work on time, you are sure to gain more visibility.

Scenario B, could still mean that if the subordinate does not finish the work on time, he would be fired. But why tell him what would happen if he DOES NOT perform? Why not tell him what would happen if he DOES perform? Which one is more likely to get him started? Which one is more likely to enable the manager to get work out of him?

Communication skills is a soft skill simply because it's not about knowing the language well. And Communication Skills is certainly not English. It's about knowing how to use the language(any language) to the best of your benefit.[And that is why soft skills trainers like us get paid :) ]. Some know exactly what and how to say and some end up with posts like the one above.

The Drona from Eklavya.

Three days, four sessions, countless stories, endless one-on-ones, great fun, us and him.

That, in short was Prof. Sunil Handa's Entrepreneurship session at the Indian School of Business, Hyd from 24th Nov 09 to 26 Nov 09.

To me, this is a classic butterfly-effect illustration. Who ever knew that my visit to a Strands book- store in Mysore, would one day get me to be in Sunil Sir's session in Hyderabad and that he would start the session by discussing my floating ideas as potential entrepreneurship ideas! And who ever knew that at the end of three days of his sessions and the one-on-ones, our tunnels would all be lit up. Truly, this blog space and my writing skills, both seem inadequate to capture the complete essence of this magic. So, to make things easier for me, I choose to simply put down some important take aways from the session, some of his interestingly humorous answers to some of our common questions, and some nails that were truly hit hard.

Our Question - What if I start with a venture and it does not sustain?

His Answer - Who says you got to start a business and you got to die with it! Who says your business should last beyond your life time! Get started. Find your passion. Try your hand at it. But take small steps. In all probability your first three ventures WILL fail. I myself hit gold only in my 7th venture. But to see the success in the seventh venture, I grew through the first 6.

Our Question - Can I choose to work in a company for about five years, attend to my family commitments and then start an entrepreneurial venture?

His Answer - And where would your family members have gone after those five years?

Our Question - Can I make some money by working in a company for three years and then venture into something?

His Answer -

What would your take-home salary be once you start working?

Our Answer - (hopefully) 70k a month?

How much would you finally save every month after all your expenses?

Our Answer - (doubtfully) 30k?

So how much would you have saved in 3 years?

Our Answer (after all the mind racking) approximately 10 lakhs.

Can't you muster 10 lakhs now! Do you have to wait for three years to muster 10 lakhs! If you must, to tu lallu hai yaar! You better get into a company.

Our Question - I want to be an entrepreneur. But I don't have any idea yet. What do I do?

His Answer - Visit an exhibition. Look around the exhibition. I once went to an exhibition in China and I calculated that if I decide to spend about 4 minutes in each stall, I would need eleven years to cover the entire exhibition. That's the enormity of ideas prevalent in the world. Honestly give yourself that exposure. Some idea is bound to strike. Ideas don't knock at your door.

Our Question - Is an MBA absolutely essential to become an entrepreneur?

His Answer - Yes and no. Yes, because it gives you perspective. A student who comes in as a monochromatic light goes out as a rainbow. No, because most MBA's today come in a sher and go out as a billi. As long as you get nurtured by the experience, MBA is very good. But if it makes you wear a suit at the end of your MBA program, it would have been better if you had not done an MBA.

Our Question - What is your take on partnership?

His Answer - It is highly recommended to always have a partner when you start a business. You have an emotional balance, someone to brainstorm with and someone to evolve with. Also have a mentor who loves you and your partner, who is aged, wise and someone both you and your partner can talk to individually. You could also have about 3-4 mentors with a good variety of their background. Partnership is like marriage. It helps if you are committed to make it work. If you sign a pre-nuptial agreement, then you might as well not get married.

Few suggestions on partnership -

i. Let husband-wife not be partners. You will not be able to handle so much of each other beyond a certain point.

ii. Let people of opposite genders not become partners. Soon, some one's spouse is bound to get jealous.

iii. If you can't handle a 50 percent partner, opt for a Chota partner. You have your Chachi's son or your Mama's son whom you played with when you were young. He is a little bit of a lallu. But is honest, committed and sincere. He now lives in a small town working as a clerk in some small company. Ask him to come over. Groom him. Give him a 15 percent share and a house. He is now your Chota partner.

Our Question - When is the right time to start a venture?

His Answer(in his style and words) -

No to Kab, but to Ab

No to kab, but to ab.

No to kahaan, but to yahaan.

No to kahaan, but to yahaan.

This period is a golden period in your life. Explore, express and chase your dreams. If you let go of this period, you will never be able to venture again. Taste the kick of being your own boss. Feel the excitement of being an entrepreneur. It's like falling in love. But do it all NOW...

A must-see and a must-do

The Hussain Sagar is a lake in Hyderabad, India, built by Hazrat Hussain Shah Wali in 1562, during the rule of Ibrahim Quli Qutb Shah. It was a lake of 24 kilometres built on a tributary of the River Musi to meet the water and irrigation needs of the city. There is a large monolithic statue of the Gautam Buddha in the middle of the lake which was erected in 1992.

The lake is encompassed on one side by the beautiful Lumbini Park, an amusement park for the young and old alike. Then there is the enchanting Birla Mandir hewn on a hillock nearby. Standing on the Tank Bund at night, one is awe-struck to see the glimmering row of lights outlining the lake that look like “a diamond studded necklace”. This is the necklace road being readied to enhance the beauty of Hussain Sagar.

So says Wiki in its effort to woo tourists and make us/them believe that Hussain Sagar is the most beautiful sight in Hyderabad.

The truth is, there is no lake. There is enormous amount of filth and water supporting the filth. There are beautiful water birds balancing on plastic bottles that were thrown into the lake by some considerate soul. Ironically, there is the famous Eat Street on the banks of the lake. But no one prefers to sit by the railings, close to the lake and eat, because then, one would not be able to eat.

Polluting lakes is not exclusive to Hussain Sagar and pollution is not exclusive to lakes.

But thanks to the enormity of filth, I found a new topic for my next behaviour skill session at the KARE school. Let me try a small change. Let me make a small impact on those children to clean up the slum where they live. Let me try helping them promote cleanliness and hygiene in their locality. Let us each ignite such small changes around us to promote cleanliness and hygiene. I shall get back and tell you the consequence of the change I ignited. You, tell me how it went at your end.

I know what my mom has in mind as she reads this blog. I'm off to clean my cupboard.

I promise to be the change I want to see.

The People Vs Larry Flynt

Please read the plot (or watch the movie) before reading the blog.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_People_vs._Larry_Flynt

This blog is certainly not a movie review since we are talking about a movie that was made 13 years ago. (although I just finished watching it)

I am not taking this opportunity to appreciate the direction or screenplay or Woody Harrelson's performance. (Although they were all brilliant!)

I do not write this blog to either support or oppose pornographic magazines, which is the bone of contention in the movie. (Not that I don't have an opinion on this. It's just that the benefits and ill-effects of pornographic magazines are out of scope of this discussion :p)

My focus here is not on the freedom of speech and expression for which Larry Flynt and his lawyer fought, simply because there are people world wide, fighting in varied scales for this right.

My focus here is on one particularly well-made scene of the movie, a perfect example of out-of-the-box thinking, a sample of exceedingly brilliant articulation, the capability of one individual to sweep a huge mass with his powerful presentation, all portrayed by the protagonist of this movie and the original Larry Flynt (watch the scene on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJCiipZOga0). Who would imagine that to fight a case for saving a pornographic magazine one could draw a shocking comparison between sex and war and make the entire audience believe that pornography is hardly an issue and that there are greater issues threatening the world!

Now why am I particularly interested in this?

As a soft skills trainer, I have facilitated many sessions on articulation skills. In these sessions, the participants are shown various videos, given simulations, made to do various activities all to drive home the point about good articulation skills. In my opinion, this video is an excellent pick for such a training experiment.

It is my strong belief that the power of the words we choose is totally unfathomable. What and how we speak can turn the entire world towards or against us. However, articulation is no magic. It is a systematic culture of the mind to use the right words, the right modulation, the right body language, the apt content, and most importantly the right attitude. And for all those who are closed to this mind culture and take the power of good articulation for granted,and think that articulation could be a last-minute-magic, this scene is presented as an eye opener..

Can we leave Mr Singh alone please?

Have I been in a highly disapproval-mode of late? If yes, here I go again. If no, welcome to my blog.

I just had some difficulty putting together a few sentences from todays news paper article (http://www.hindu.com/2009/08/19/stories/2009081957790100.htm) and I don't know if it is the newspaper, or the BJP or Mr Jaswant Singh or just me!

Here are the sentences.

1. BJP dissociates itself from Jaswant's book on Jinnah. (That's the headlines, by the way :-P)

2. Mr Naidu later said the book was not a party document. (Then why even dissociate???)

3. Party leaders are painfully aware that a similar praise of Jinnah as secular by Mr. Advani led to his exit as BJP president. (Is it really Jinnah who is not secular????)

4. Some senior leaders like Sushma Swaraj have already said issues raised in the book, which seem to question the BJP's basic beliefs on Partition would be discussed at the three-day chintan baithak (brainstorming session) starting in Shimla on Wednesday. (Whoa this is getting better! Don't mind.. but don't we have better things to discuss at our chintan baithak Ms. Swaraj?)

5. Mr Venkaiah Naidu refused to say whether the issue would be discussed at the chintan baithak. (Eh.. guys, make up your mind.)

6. However, some leaders like Mr Venkaiah Naidu said "no action" (please note the double quotes) was being contemplated against Mr Singh for he did not hold any important position in the party now, except membership of the powerful parliamentary board. (Then what is your problem guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Just leave him alone!!!!!!!!)

And, this is the icing on the cake.

7. Several party leaders admitted that they had not yet read the 600-page book by Mr Jaswant Singh. (Eh... no comments).

Are you having a good laugh Mr Singh? 'Coz I am.